by Tony Rankin, FBC member and family counselor
It is nearly impossible to watch the news without hearing a story about another sex abuse case. It’s no longer just the dirty-old-man in a trench coat or the stalking weirdo. It can be somebody your family trusts and even somebody you really love. Here are some discussion points for your family:
1) Keep talking. Keep communications open. This will make for a safe place where tough issues can be shared.
2) Discuss boundaries. Everybody needs to know there are sexual limits. Nobody has the right to invade another person’s sexual space without permission. Preschoolers and children need to hear simple ideas like the Bathing Suit and Hoola Hoop Rules: “Don’t let anybody touch you where you wear your swim suit” or “Pretend you have a Hoola Hoop around you. Nobody should get in that space.” (Obviously parents need to explain exceptions like the family doctor or Mommy and Daddy.) Teenagers need to be warned about how easily sexual experiences get out of hand and how limits should be set in advance.
3) Be informed. Access the TBI list of sex offenders and search the list with your zip code if you want to know about your community.
4) Be sure. If things seem odd and your gut feeling warns you about certain individuals who interact with your child, talk to a professional who can help you look at your concerns and work on minimizing the risks for your family.
5) Get help. If you or your family has been affected by sexual abuse, do not keep it a secret. Find someone who has the expertise and compassion to help you heal from the pain.
